


The Best Way to Accept Your Shadow

by scatter



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bondage, Clothing Kink, Community: badbadbathhouse, M/M, Self-cest, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-04
Updated: 2011-05-04
Packaged: 2017-10-18 23:10:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/194328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatter/pseuds/scatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The meeting with Yosuke's Shadow goes in a different direction when he turns his eyes on Souji (it's a direction that involves porn).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Way to Accept Your Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a [prompt](http://badbadbathhouse.livejournal.com/1655.html?thread=11278455#t11278455) at the Persona 4 Kink Meme: _> > "Seriously, I don't know what's up with that scarf. It's got, like, a +50 to sexiness on it or something. It's probably a good thing S!Yosuke wasn't wearing it when he first appeared or that encounter would have ended much differently (and by that I mean it would have been sexier)."_
> 
>  _I NEED THIS LIKE BURNING, ANONS. Shadow!Yosuke's scarf gives him the power to rival gods and bring mortal men to their knees (in downright stupefying lust, obviously). He knows this all too well._

It was bad enough listening to this…this _thing_ , this yellow-eyed copy of him, spout all his inner thoughts about Inaba and Saki-senpai's death, but once he turned his eyes on Souji and smiled, Yosuke's blood froze.

"It's awful here, isn’t it?" the Shadow said, waving a hand dismissively at the stacked sake barrels and dark store around them. "The city wasn't much better, not with those losers I called friends, those jerks who can't even be bothered to answer a text, but at least there were things to distract me. Here, there's nothing to do except work at Junes, no one to do except – well, no one at all, actually, since the girls won't touch me with a ten foot pole. Oh, they were nice enough when I first got here. I was interesting then, the new kid from the city, and they couldn’t get enough of me, but once Junes started running businesses out of town I suddenly wasn't quite as cute or funny as I'd been when I first arrived. Fuck them, though; I like new and interesting things too and I've got my eye on the best thing I've seen since coming to this shithole, don't I, Yosuke?"

"What?" It took a moment for Yosuke to catch the question; he hated being reminded of how lonely he was here, of the way people had turned away from him, like he'd had a personal hand in making their parents lose their jobs. He risked a glance at Souji, suddenly apprehensive about his continued silence, but his face was unreadable as he stared at the Shadow. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Man, that new transfer student," the Shadow started up, eyes never straying from Souji's face, "doesn't he look so damn cool? Aren't the girls already whispering about him? Wouldn't he look good laid out on my bed?"

"What the hell?! I—I would never think something like that, Souji, I swear—" Souji didn't seem to notice he'd spoken. His eyes were fixed on the Shadow's hand as he toyed with and undid one of the buttons of his school uniform.

"The things I'd like to do to him," the Shadow continued and moved his hand lower. "You may not know it but Yosuke's got such an active imagination, especially when he's lying in bed hard and wet and ashamed. You barely looked at him the first day you were here but he couldn't wait until he got home so he could lock the door to his bedroom and imagine you on your knees."

"You—!"

Souji cut Yosuke's yell off, voice tight. "Teddie, you should leave."

"Sensei?" The bear looked completely confused about what was being said but reluctant to leave all the same.

"What," Yosuke asked, heart pounding and mouth dry, "you want to be alone with this thing? Are you insane?"

"You want Teddie to hear all of this?" Souji still wasn't looking at him. The Shadow popped another button.

Yosuke dug his nails into his palm, weighing his embarrassment and anger against keeping Teddie in the room. He didn't want him to hear this, whether he understood any of it not; he didn't want Souji, either. He didn't want this to be happening at all. "Teddie, go ahead and leave."

"Yosuke—"

"Please. It'll be easier on me." Saying it made him feel better, like there was something he could control in events that were rapidly spinning away from him. He wondered if punching the damn Shadow would make him shut up and, as if hearing his thoughts, he got a quick, amused glance that told him it was probably a bad idea.

When the last of Teddie's squeaking footsteps faded away, the Shadow rolled his shoulders and made his way towards Souji. "Finally; I couldn't wait for that stupid bear to leave. Now things can get interesting."

"Don't go near him!" Yosuke lunged forward but stopped short, unable to bring himself to touch his doppelganger.

The Shadow froze and gave him a flat look that changed into unsettlingly cocky smile. "That's fine. I don't have to go near him; he'll come to me, won't you, Souji?"

At some point, Souji had transferred his gaze to the ground, eyes shut tightly, but now he looked at Yosuke and then the Shadow, who was wrapping one end of his long red scarf – the only piece of clothing that didn't match Yosuke's – around one hand. Souji's eyes followed the movements, a red flush starting to appear on his face.

"Isn't it funny that he hasn't said anything about all of this? Not one mention of you being weird or gross or wrong, not even a sound. In fact," the Shadow said, "I think he likes hearing it."

"He doesn't, he's not—"

"Not what? Like you? Like that guy in the city who watched you change in gym but you were so damn scared of being beaten up that you ignored him?"

Yosuke stopped looking at him. It was easier, just barely, to watch Souji because Souji wasn't looking at him, didn't seem to be able to do anything other than stare at his Shadow with wide eyes. Seeing that expression on his face made something – not jealously, he wasn't—annoyance, maybe, take hold of him. He didn't want Souji to pay attention to this fake.

"I think he is. In fact, let's put him through a little test. Souji," the Shadow said, and the way he said his name made Souji jolt visibly, "if you are like that – like Yosuke wants you to be – then come over here and finish unbuttoning this jacket for me. If you're not then stay over there and, well, we'll move on to something else, I guess."

Souji snuck a glance at Yosuke and blushed a little more when their eyes met.

"That something else," the Shadow added casually, "doesn't involve this." He was twisting the scarf around his hand again.

Souji bit his lip and went red from the neck up. He didn't look at either of them as he made his way over to the Shadow.

"Man, when's the last time anyone's listened to me?" The Shadow asked as Souji's fingers worked on his buttons. He laughed excitedly. "I don't know but it feels pretty damn good, wouldn't you say, Yosuke?"

He didn't answer. He stared at Souji, who stared at his hands. That was a yes; that meant Souji was…like that. The thought made Yosuke go hot, a feeling that intensified when Souji's eyes cut over to him for a brief moment.

"Look at him, he's blushing like a girl." For a moment, Yosuke thought the Shadow was talking about him but his attention was all on Souji. "But that's fine; it looks good on you, Souji. I wonder, do you kiss like a girl? Let's see."

He shot forward, raising his hands to grip Souji's face but as fast as he was Souji was already waiting for him with an open mouth. Yosuke made a distressed noise in the back of his throat and raised a hand as if to stop them, but they were too involved in each other to notice. The Shadow watched him, though, eyes open the whole time, and when he finally pulled away he ran his tongue along his lips in a way that made heat well up in Yosuke again.

"Nope," he said, looking pleased with himself, "he kisses like a boy. You want to come over and feel for yourself?"

"I don't…" Yosuke's ears burned and his throat was tight, but he kept looking at Souji's face, at his parted lips and the way he seemed to have trouble focusing. "I'm not…"

"Aren't you?" The Shadow hooked at arm around Souji's neck and kissed him again, tongue flashing out to lick at his mouth. Souji moaned softly and tightened his hold on the Shadow's jacket. "You know," he said, pulling back, "it's not the thought of you blowing him that gets him all upset, not really. A mouth's a mouth, right, and he likes thinking about getting you before anyone else does, about making you do it and maybe knocking you down a peg because he just can't stand how cool you look, can't stand how everyone likes you already when they hate him so much. What really bothers him is the way he thinks you'll feel."

"Shut up, shut up…" Souji was looking at him, blinking owlishly to refocus; the Shadow was looking at him too, face knowing. Yosuke wanted to scream at them to go away, to go hide himself, but his body was frozen and all he could manage to do was mutter, "Shut up, please, just stop talking."

"He thinks you'll like it," the Shadow said in a whisper Yosuke had no trouble hearing. He felt like he was hearing the words in his head, like the Shadow was digging through all the half-formed thoughts he'd had over the past few days and fleshing them out. "That you might want to hold his hand afterwards or touch his face or be friends. He hasn't had a friend in a while, not a good one. He thinks you might want to kiss him and that's what he wants the most and that's what he hates. You sucking his cock makes you weird. Him kissing you makes him weird."

"Shut…" Yosuke shut his eyes and grabbed his hair.

"But what good does waiting to get what I want do, huh?" he said loudly. Yosuke opened his eyes to see the Shadow holding Souji back against his chest and grinning over his shoulder. "Nothing, not a damn fucking thing. I wanted friends; the losers here won't give me the time of day. I wanted Saki-senpai; she hated me. I wanted to go home but as long as Junes is here, I'm stuck. Waiting for things to work out never did anything so now I'm going to take what I want, and I want Souji." He slid a hand between Souji's legs and pressed hard. Souji panted and Yosuke was close enough to see the way his eyes were dilated. "And Souji wants me. Isn't that great, that we all want the same thing and all we have to do is act on it? Souji's dying for me to act, aren't you?"

Souji nodded and gasped as the hand between his legs started to rub. One of his hands found the end of the scarf and he pulled hard, tightening it around the Shadow's throat.

"Haha, he can't wait. Man, having someone this worked up over me…Damn, it feels good. I could get used to this. But you don't have to stand over there and just watch," the Shadow told him. He worked a thumb under the scarf around his neck and eased it loose. "I'm you, Yosuke. I know what you're thinking right now and I know what you want – you wish you were over here touching him, that'd he'd kissed you. Well, I'll tell you what: you can have it. Just admit it, just kiss him, and when I take this scarf and tie him up and tell him to get on his knees – because I'm going to and he's going to do it – you can be the one he sucks off first."

It was the way Souji moaned at that idea, clamping a hand over his mouth too late to hold it in, that decided for Yosuke.

Yosuke removed his hand, trying not to look at the Shadow watching at him and trying to ignore the way he was trembling. Souji shook too but it seemed more out of eagerness than anything else; when Yosuke kissed him, unsure and clumsy, Souji ran his hands down his chest and moved against him.

"Oh, you can do better than that," the Shadow said. "Look at him, he's all hot and bothered. He can barely think, and it's all because of, well, me, but I'm you so it's all because of you. Think about that: nothing else broke his composure – not getting sucked into a TV or fighting Shadows – but you can get him so hard he can barely speak. If that's not a confidence booster then nothing is."

It was; when Yosuke felt the hand between them move again and when Souji moaned and pulled him closer, he grabbed Souji's face and kissed him hard. It was still clumsy but the way Souji responded helped his nerves melt away into something resembling confidence, something made it easier not to panic when Souji sucked on his tongue.

"There we go." Yosuke was aware of something soft brushing against him and then one of Souji's hands was gone, twisted behind his back as the Shadow tied the scarf around his arm. Souji protested when his other arm was similarly bound, but it seemed more out of the desire to continuing touching Yosuke than being tied up. Without his hands in the way, he molded his entire body to Yosuke's, so close that he thought he could feel him throbbing though his pants. Or maybe that was just him; Yosuke was hard and getting harder with each touch of Souji's tongue and bite of his teeth.

"I'm feeling neglected." The Shadow pulled Souji back again, so fast that he stumbled, and licked his neck. "You don't have to stop kissing him, though. Keep it up; I like watching."

It was hot with all three of them so close and crowded; his glasses fogged up and he tossed them aside impatiently, not needing to see anything besides the two in front of him. He took Souji's off too since he couldn't and it was better that way, with no unfamiliar accessories hitting his face. Sometimes, he wasn't sure who he was touching or who was touching him; a tongue would slide across his cheek and he didn't know who had done it, or he'd reach forward and touch someone's waist and couldn't figure out who it belonged to. Really, he was finding it hard to care, and when the Shadow finally kissed him, making some lame joke about self-love and slipping him tongue, Yosuke didn't mind one bit.

Souji made a frustrated noise at the sight and twisted between them, rocking against Yosuke's thigh between his legs.

"Oh, right," the Shadow said, pausing to bite Yosuke's neck, "why don't you…" He put some space between them and Souji dropped to his knees like a string had been cut. "Don't hurt yourself now, I'm not done with you yet."

"I'm okay." It was the first coherent thing Souji had said in some time, though he didn't look himself at all, face still flushed and eyes glassy. "Let's go."

Seeing Souji kneeling in front of him made Yosuke so hard he was surprised he hadn't come yet. It was difficult to believe that Souji, who had barely been ruffled over everything that had happened since he arrived, was made impatient and hot because of him. It was a heady, powerful thought, one that made Yosuke dizzy with arousal. "Do you know how to do this?"

"Of course he does." The Shadow pulled at Yosuke's belt, making quick work of it and giving his cock a long, firm stroke when it was free. "He's from the city, right? I bet he's seen lots of things, haven't you?" When Souji remained silent, he laughed. "If you don't say anything, that means yes."

Yosuke couldn't argue with that; he'd never done it himself but at his last school he'd heard more than enough to know how. A much more important issue had his attention at the moment, anyway; the way Souji looked up at him made him hard and he wanted him to keep that look on his face, but it also embarrassed him so badly he worried about losing his erection. He felt worries begin to form in the back of his head – if he'd handle this right, if he'd blow his load before Souji got started…

The Shadow settled behind Souji, legs on either side of him, and picked up a length of scarf that hadn't been used on his arms. "Looks like we'll need this. Sorry, Souji, you can watch next time." He twisted it in a firm knot around Souji's head so that it covered his eyes completely. "I'm sure you don't mind."

"No, this is—ah!" He jerked when the Shadow started to remove his belt. "This is fine."

"Great." He rested his cheek against Souji's and slid a hand down his pants. "Then just guide it into his mouth and…go."

Souji's licks and sucks were all timid and unsure and Yosuke kept feeling his teeth, but that inexperience – the idea that Yosuke was the first guy he'd sucked off – and the way he mouthed the head and gasped around it when the Shadow fondled him were more than enough to tease an orgasm out of Yosuke. He came within minutes and Souji quickly followed, jerked off by the Shadow, who'd watched the whole thing with a smile and sucked the come out of Souji's mouth.

Yosuke watched, spent and tired, as the Shadow undid the blindfold around Souji's eyes and wrapped it around his neck before guiding his face to his lap. Watching was almost as good as having it done to him; Souji kept catching his eye and actually seeing his tongue lap at the head of the Shadow's cock – at Yosuke's cock – got him hot all over again.

"Shit, this is good. It's about time I found something here worth my damn time. Come here." The Shadow let his head fall back and handed the end of the scarf to Yosuke. "Pull this."

The implications managed to make their way through the haze in Yosuke's brain. "I'm not going to choke him."

"Then do it gently. He doesn’t mind, right, Souji?" Souji met Yosuke's eyes and leaned back a little so the scarf pulled tight. "See? You're in control. He likes that."

Yosuke did pull it, just a bit, as Souji finished getting the Shadow off, using it to tug him back when the Shadow seemed close to climaxing so that the moment was prolonged. Afterwards, he unwound it and rubbed at Souji's neck, apologizing, but Souji just smiled and kissed him almost shyly. The Shadow had been right; Yosuke had been hoping for that to happen and even the taste of his own come on Souji's mouth didn't ruin the feeling.

"Wasn't that good?" the Shadow said, tugging on the scarf and freeing Souji. "Much better than just waiting for things to happen, wouldn't you agree?" When Yosuke nodded, he added, "Are you convinced I'm you now?"

Yosuke tried to remember how this had all started. "What about all that that awful shit you said earlier?"

"I meant it," the Shadow said, putting on his scarf, "and I'd say it again. Every word about Inaba and Junes and Saki-senpai was true."

"I wouldn't—!"

"Yosuke," Souji said, "I was thinking. This…he keeps saying he's you, right? And that's true, he knows everything about you, but think about this: he's not all of you. I know you're not all hate and anger and…" The Shadow smiled provocatively. "…you're not just that so he might just be a part of you."

"Just a part of me, huh?" Yosuke rubbed his eyes; without the glasses he was getting a headache and now that he'd come he was starting to think more clearly. "Yeah, fuck, you're right. All that shit he said, I felt it on some level but that's not all, I'm just not…" He looked at Souji, trying to get the point across without saying anything and got an encouraging look in return. "You're me, aren't you?"

"Haven't I been saying that?"

The Shadow dissolved, leaving a glowing blue tarot card in his place. Yosuke caught it and stared, recalling the similar card he'd seen in Souji's hands earlier and feeling something prickle in the back of his mind. "This is like what you had, isn't it? So…I have a Persona now. Wait, _this_ is how I get it?"

Catching sight of the look on his face, Souji laughed once and covered his mouth to muffle the rest. Yosuke scowled, but he felt relieved like some of the tension had gone out of his body. "We're not going to tell Teddie or Chie about this, are we?"

"Not unless you want them to know," Souji said. "I wouldn't air your secrets like that."

"Thanks." He watched the card fade and stood up, turning away self-consciously to straighten his clothing. "We should head back. They're probably worried."

Before they went through the red-and-black portal that led to the streets, Souji caught his arm. "Hey, about all that…"

"We can just forget it if you want," Yosuke said.

"I—no, I don't want to forget it, but, um… Do you want to go somewhere this weekend and just hang out? I'd…really like that."

Souji looked incredibly embarrassed, staring at one of the buttons on Yosuke's jacket instead of his face, and that made it easier for Yosuke to hide the smile that tugged at his mouth.

"Yeah. I'd like that too."

Yosuke quickly realized his way of accepting his Shadow had been unique, to put it lightly, and that although Jiraiya was awesome he had a tendency to make battles awkward. It was hard to see his scarf without catching Souji's eye and remembering what it'd been used for, an exchange that inevitably made them avoid looking at each other until they'd calmed down.

When their group grew and Souji was finally asked what Yosuke's Shadow had been like, everyone realizing he'd been the only person to see it, he went completely red and declared it a secret, which did nothing but increase their interest in the topic. Yosuke flat out refused to discuss it with anyone.

Except Souji, of course, but that was only fair considering the things Souji let him know. He doubted that anyone else was aware of how he liked to give up control, for example, and he liked it best that way.

After all, there were some things that were best kept between partners.


End file.
